Trichotillomania

I write this as I watch Embarrassing Teenage Bodies, where the disorder that the title of this post refers to is featured.

Trichotillomania is a condition where the sufferer compulsively pulls out their own hair. I am wondering if I have a mild form of this: I pull out my eyebrows. Obviously, I do shape eyebrows using tweezers, as, indeed, many women do. However, there are occasions where I will remove the hairs using my fingers; sometimes, I do this unconsciously. When I later catch sight of myself in the mirror, I am horrified to see the mess that I have created: namely gappy or abnormally short eyebrows.

The reason I suspect I do have the aforementioned disorder is for the following reasons: a) it mainly happens when I am rather stressed; b) I get a sense of satisfaction when I pull out the hairs: it's almost like relieving the pressure from something, and the action is accompanied by a tiny 'pop' sound; c) I feel guilty when I finally stop and see the destruction my behaviour has caused.

Following a particularly manic session that leaves my eyebrows in a very bad state, I spend several days hoping that the damage is not permanent; that those hairs will grow back. I use eye pencil in the meantime to fill in the gaps. However, when I feel the spikiness of a hair beginning to break through the skin, I immediately want to pull it out: thus, the process begins again.

I am sure that the best way to tackle this problem is to find some will power from somewhere. Like most bad habits, though, this one is hard to break.

It is likely that, one day, I may not have eyebrows.